i lost all feelings, i killed them to be specific ,my life now is meaningless, i can't find the will to live anymore, don't get me wrong, i did not give up on my life, it's just hard for me now to find meaning in life, m fighting and pushing myself to try new things and pushing myself to continue, but i feel like m only a shell, living bcz i can't die since it's haram, that's the only thing that's keeping me from ending my life, i feel like i have no place here , i don't belong anywhere , i tired hard to make myself feel better, but i'm still the same, and i cannt bring myself to trust people around me anymore, i feel like they can abonden me anytime, i know i always have allah, which is the only thing comforting me , but i really wish to have someone sometimes, it gets really loneley, nd it hurts that whenever m in trouble, i have no one to turn to except allah,i 'm fully aware that allah will give me everything, it's just a sense of loneliness i couldn't overcome

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